hope for the best.

well. after more than a month updating my blog. the last blog dedicated to my fellow classmates which is written in my mothertongue language.

now, my life has turned upside down, where everything seems not right and I'm still looking for something beneficial to do. honestly, I'm broke and honestly its a shame to ask for money from my parents nowadays. I don't know why. maybe, because at this age, I'm able to find and obtain money by myself.

Certain opportunity comes by for me to apply for jobs and others wanting me to work for them. And still I can't make up my mind. I don't know what is real and what need to be done. I don't know what is the best for me and what is right and wrong in it. this is because i'm still no brave enough in taking any risks for myself.'

Everytime an opportunity comes, i'll always be there to throw it away, not even trying to grab it and make used of it. not only that, even in relationship, i'm more than a failure. i don't know what my problem is and still i have a memory of my past and when i'm trying to throw it away by meeting with other person, yet I'm too naive and have no ability to win other's heart. well, that's fine but it's a little frustrating though.

Examination results is just around the corner by what, it should be out tomorrow at 12 if the system is still the same as the last semester which is better than the other previous system. this will be my last results for diploma level and i'm hoping that i'll get the best from it. hoping to get my 3rd dean list and my last chance to get the 2 star for diploma if i'm able to obtain 3.8 and above. it's seem impossible, but i can't stop hoping for it.

that's all for tonight, owh i mean morning. 1:37 am, tuesday. less than 24 hours to 25 mei 2o11. happy belated birthday mom and u know who you are.